Dash yourself off to Lucky Jim's Apothecary, and we'll hook you up with all the right intravenous solutions to ward off the decomposition of your spine!
And while you're waiting for the meds to kick in, sit yourself down at one of our fine slot machines and go mano a mano with Lady Luck. There's a winner every hour*, so if you're not careful, you may find yourself walking away with an extra few hundred dollars!
* Offer does not apply during non-leap years. Must be of legal age to participate.
FILE UNDER: all-time most tasteless business venture